10 Lessons Happy Women have Learned

inspiration Nov 13, 2022


I have just returned from a couple of glorious weeks at my favorite place in the world, the island of Kauai. It is the place where I can settle my energy and do all the things I know are good for me. For example, I ground myself by regularly taking my shoes off and walking barefoot in the sand, the ocean and the grass. (If you have read my book The Heart of Estheticsyou know how important grounding is.)

I meditate, I talk to the egrets and chickens that I frequently encounter, and I focus on appreciating the beauty that surrounds me which is easy because it's everywhere. It's in the trees, the flowers, the monk seals, the honu (sea turtles) and in the air.

I have been known to lie beneath my favorite plumeria tree for an hour or more and look up at the flowers, the blue sky, the palm trees, and the birds. Another of my favorite spots is a wooden swing on the grounds of the Grand Hyatt. My feet are in the sand, the breeze is on my face and the waves are absolutely mesmerizing. (I have made many important life decisions on that swing!) And I focus on gratitude as I say the Hawaiian Ho'oponopono prayer. 

Wisdom definitely finds its way to me when I am on Kauai, and that's because my energy is balanced and my mind is open and ready to receive. It's amazing how much good info is able to float in when your mind is calm. Where...when...and how you make important decisions really does matter.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that you must fly to an island to make important decisions. But a peaceful environment, balanced energy and a calm mind will bring much-needed clarity, which is the most important element of good decision-making. We have an internal voice that knows us very well and is poised and ready to give good advice. However, oftentimes we lean too hard on other people to guide us. And those other people have their own ideas, goals, perspectives (and insecurities) which may mislead us and overshadow our own instincts. 

Here are a few of the lessons that have helped me create and maintain joy in my life.  


 10 Lessons Happy Women have Learned

  1. You can't blame people for sucking the life out of you if you keep handing them the straw.
  2. A healthy diet is much more than what you eat. It includes everything you consume such as what you read, watch, follow, as well as how (and with whom) you spend your time. 
  3. Learn how to love yourself and learn to be alone, so you don't have to rely on someone else.
  4. The best way to find a good relationship is to become the kind of person you want to be with. 
  5. Love means allowing your partner to be himself/herself and loving them anyway. 
  6. Not all storms come to destroy your life. Some come to clear your path.
  7. Never be a prisoner of your past. It's just a lesson...not a life sentence.
  8. You are not responsible for the trauma that happened to you, but you are responsible for doing the healing so you don't injure others in the same way.
  9. Happiness is not the absence of problems. It is the ability to deal with them.
  10. You're not stressed because you're doing too much. You are stressed because you're doing too little of what makes you feel most alive. 


NOTE: You may not recognize the name Duke Kahanamoku in the image above, however if you've ever been to Hawaii, you have probably seen statues of him or have eaten at restaurants named after him. Duke was an Olympic swimmer and is credited with bringing surfing to the Mainland and to the world. If you want to know more about Duke, look for a great documentary about him called "Waterman."

Duke Kahanamoku was the spirit of aloha. The world can use some aloha right now. Be the aloha!

A hui hou (til we meet again),



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